My wife has breast cancer.
I don't have a long drawn out story, I don't have anything whismical to say, she has fucking cancer and I'm helpless to stop it.
The hospital has a very optimistic outlook and she has a very good chance to pull through this, but at what cost? I'm VERY glad they caught it and that she's most likely going to be OK, and she's very fortunate to be getting some of the best care in the nation. But she's going to lose both her breasts and is taking heavy doses of chemo, (which will be followed by radiation after her surgery). She will become what they like to call a "survivor". Something to be proud of because you "beat the demon". The reality is my wife will have no breasts, (well, not her real ones) it doesn't bother me in the slightest but for her it's personal and a part of her she has to let go of, it will bother her for the rest of her life. To top that off she could very well develope life long side effects from the chemo, (like a tingling of her hands or feet that could last for years or even be permanent). She will have to follow a strick diet, for life. Her immune system will never fully recover and she will be at higher risk for infections, flu, pnumonia, and a zillion other viruses and bacteria, for life. She will have to be re-checked for cancer several times a year like playing Russian Roulette, "Did it come back yet? Am I still cancer free?"...FOR LIFE. And the crazy part is this is just the tip of the iceburg.
Such a loving, beautiful, and gentle soul. Filled with all the kindless in the world with an unshatterable faith in God. "He's got this" she tells me. Oh yeah? Where the hell was he before all this happened? The same place he's always been, that's where.
If only there actually were a God up there for me to curse at, at least I'd have somewhere to point this anger.
It wasn't supposed to be her, what the hell happened?? Fuck you cancer.
