Jenny

My wife has breast cancer.

I don't have a long drawn out story, I don't have anything whismical to say, she has fucking cancer and I'm helpless to stop it.

The hospital has a very optimistic outlook and she has a very good chance to pull through this, but at what cost? I'm VERY glad they caught it and that she's most likely going to be OK, and she's very fortunate to be getting some of the best care in the nation. But she's going to lose both her breasts and is taking heavy doses of chemo, (which will be followed by radiation after her surgery). She will become what they like to call a "survivor". Something to be proud of because you "beat the demon". The reality is my wife will have no breasts, (well, not her real ones) it doesn't bother me in the slightest but for her it's personal and a part of her she has to let go of, it will bother her for the rest of her life. To top that off she could very well develope life long side effects from the chemo, (like a tingling of her hands or feet that could last for years or even be permanent). She will have to follow a strick diet, for life. Her immune system will never fully recover and she will be at higher risk for infections, flu, pnumonia, and a zillion other viruses and bacteria, for life. She will have to be re-checked for cancer several times a year like playing Russian Roulette, "Did it come back yet? Am I still cancer free?"...FOR LIFE. And the crazy part is this is just the tip of the iceburg.

Such a loving, beautiful, and gentle soul. Filled with all the kindless in the world with an unshatterable faith in God. "He's got this" she tells me. Oh yeah? Where the hell was he before all this happened? The same place he's always been, that's where.

If only there actually were a God up there for me to curse at, at least I'd have somewhere to point this anger.



It wasn't supposed to be her, what the hell happened?? Fuck you cancer.

My one and only formal Political rant...

Attention idiots, (you know who you are...possibly).

 The EPA was created in 1970 by Nixon. It is controlled by a Republican majority Congress. Said Republican party has held a majority vote since 1994. Why?? Because after a FAILED health care reform attempt, (sound familiar?) Republicans won control of Congress in 1994 for the first time in forty years. This congress is who delivered a COMPLETE AND UNANIMOUS rejection of the attempt to block the regulation of CO2 emissions by the EPA. The very regulation that is causing this Coal fired plant scare in everyone. Yes, it is a real problem but they can't just close all the mines and shut down all the plants. Have you people lost all reason? This isn't something that's gonna happen overnight and it's not like nobody saw this coming for Gods sake. The Air Pollution control Act was instated in 1955 due to growing GLOBAL air pollution problems FIFTY SEVEN YEARS AGO. We have been heavily discussing the problems caused by global warming since the early 80's. The United Nations founded the UNFCCC in 1992 to globally address global warming and currently has 194 parties/countries involved in this project. None of this is new people, it's been a growing problem that's been around since before Obama even understood politics. Sorry that ignoring it didn't make it go away but this stuff is real folks and all of you knew this would eventually happen. And on top of it all everyone is talking about how bad things are and how we're all now screwed but nobody seems to recall that the economy was going to hell when Obama took office, he inherited this mess. A mess BTW that is a GLOBAL problem, Many countries economies are falling apart, yet we all want to blame one single man for every single thing going on right now. The guy clearly isn't doing the best job in the world but come on people, are you truly this ignorant? For fucks sake educate yourselves instead of basing your beliefs off of random peoples statements and meme's posted on Facebook.

You want a real conspiracy to dwell on? Disney acquired Lucasfilm. Yes Lucasfilm, the entire Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchise, as well as Lucasfilm’s production houses International Light and Magic and Skywalker Sound. Disney is going to start pumping out Star Wars movies and Lucas will not be involved in the management or operations of the studio at all, he totally bowed out. WTF? There is a serious disturbance in the force people. You want someone to call the Anti-Christ? Walt Disney is apparently still alive and out for blood.


Bacon and Cheese,
ME

The boundries that seperate us...sometimes.

Well now, it's been quite awhile since I last posted, but alas a curious event took place yesterday evening that warrants my abrupt return.

   I suppose to bring clarity to my story I must talk about the building in which I work. The company I work for is housed on the top three floors of a restored 100+ year old hotel. Back in it's hay day it was said to have been a place of splendor and class. This of course was during the big boom of the coal industry in this area, and these little hick towns were, (for a short time at least) quite lucrative and brought about big business to this area. Long story short, this hotel was a place for the coal tycoons and such to party in the grand ballroom, enjoy fine dining and live the lifestyle they were used to. Forward to today and we have 6 floors of rented office space, and at ground level there is a fully restored and open lobby and mezzanine area with beautiful columns and grand ceilings and floors which is rented out to anyone with the cash. The local schools have their proms here, businesses have conferences, and dinners and such. The majority of the time though it is rented out for weddings by [mostly] upper class people for that ballroom atmosphere. It's safe to say that at least one event of some sort goes on here about once a week.
   So...the norm for these events is a group of people typically show up the night or day before something is to occur and will decorate or otherwise prepare the lobby area for the "big day". Once "big day" arrives, we have to walk right through these events as they occur to get to the elevator. We're usually carrying bags of food from McD's or something similar, kickin' it in jeans and a t-shirt walking through crowds of onlookers in tuxedos and gowns eating catered food. I can't speak for my co-workers, but it leaves me feeling as if I'm sticking out like a steaming turd in the snow; just a tad out of place. Now, fully two paragraphs into this you may be asking yourself, "self...what the hell does this have to do with boundaries, and separation and such?" Well, in hindsight, I'm going out on a limb here and saying pretty much not a damn thing. But I have fully set the stage for something that took about five seconds to occur. Don't all four of you, my loyal followers, just love me?
   Some sort of event is clearly happening tomorrow, (well, today now that it's 6am). I had went out to BK for food at around 9:30 pm and noticed some of the aforementioned upper class down in the lobby preparing the tables and such for whatever is going on. A nicely dressed middle aged gentleman and two ladies were working away, and were still working when I returned with the food for everyone about 20 minutes later. As I stepped out of the mezzanine close to where they were, a grand fart came upon me and was ready for launch. Trying to have a [rare] bout of decency I held my vile flatus until I rounded the corner and reached the elevator, well out of range of my upper class onlookers. As soon as I thought it safe I dropped my payload with an ass-warming brrrraaap, but just as I committed to the deed an odd thing occurred. At the exact same moment I "bombed Hiroshima" the upper class gentleman, (apparently patiently awaiting my departure) spewed out a thunderous belch that easily rivaled any cheap beer burp I have ever had the pleasure of hearing. 'Twas so loud in fact that it mostly covered the craponese conversation my arse was having with my pants. I just kinda cocked my head slightly like a confused dog, shrugged my shoulders and headed onto the elevator. I worked throughout the night and pondered the event until I could stand it no more and came here to share it with my steadfast followers, (aren't you glad you went all the way with this one?).

I should come up with some wonderfully elaborate "moral of the story" thing here, but I'm now off work and I wanna get the hell out of here. There's something amusing about this so come up with your own ending, I'm going home.


Me

Edit: Here are a couple of pictures that highlight the areas of the alleged "assult"

Right

I'm up to four followers, golly neat-o!

Imma take this opportunity to call out Josh and say go visit his website; Peaches done gotz talentz!
Josh R 3Ð


Cheese and Bacon...that is all.
Me

yeap

Yes...I know it should be Dainbramaged.

As you can see, it's rather popular, so not wanting to be part of the in crowd I made it my own.







Well that....and it's already taken http://dainbramaged.blogspot.com/ ;-)

Bambi on Prozac...

OK, I have a ritual that I go through on my daily drives to work. It's a simplistic ritual that involves me leaving my home and trying to get as depressed as humanly possible during the 18 minute commute to my place of employment. Of course being the grand pessimist that I am I succeed at it quite well. A typical drive involves me using the radio as my melancholy theme music as I deeply ponder how pathetic my life truly is, (I'll spare you my babbling of pigeon excrement for another time).
  Yesterday was no exception to this aforementioned ritual, and along with my usual internal whine of despair I was deep in thought about something that's been bothering me quite a bit here lately. As I age and continue to work with the public I have noticed a darkening inside me; I seem to despise the human race more and more by the minute. This is not your typical loathing either, it is very broad and I do not discriminate against anyone, anywhere, at any time. I find myself looking down on every race creed and color everywhere I go with this profound cynicism that even scares me sometimes. Now anyone who knows me is certainly aware that I have always had a distaste for the public, (which I'm sure stems directly from my social anxiety, or is it the other way around?). But this day, this day was different and something happened which made me stop and ponder, (if only for a second) that maybe some part of these feelings are just.

  I'm weaving through highway traffic as I close in on the off ramp into the city when in the distance I see a pickup truck with two men riding in the back. Before I can even catch myself I instantly say outloud, "God damned rednecks". No sooner had those words came out of my mouth when I flashed back to my childhood and how much I enjoyed riding in the back of the truck we owned. I again say to myself out loud, "My God, what has happened to you?". But in that same instant one of the men in the back of the truck points to a grassy hill beside the highway, I can see him mouthing excitedly the word "DEEEEER!" to his truck bed companion. Sure enough, high upon the hill just barely visible from onlookers, was a full grown doe grazing away.

Well I'll be.....they were god damned rednecks after all.

.....

I am finding myself still putting thought into this band thing. I'm more comfortable with the fact that I am now in a "cover band', but I dread the bullshit I'm going to have to take from my other musician friends; they are soo gonna rag on me about this and tell me I should be doing original work. I can't argue with that, but the fact is it's not happening and I'm fucking sick of letting my kit collect dust in my living room while everyone else is out playing and having a good time. I should have been out there playing years ago and I'm sick of waiting for the "right time" to come along, so fuck em if they don't like it. At least that's what I want to say...

I just hope none of these said friends come to any of the shows, I'm not sure how I would react to that honestly and I'm a bit afraid I would feel embarrased about my own band, and that's just not fair to the other guys in the band. There's nothing wrong with being in a cover band and it can be alot of fun.

So why is this bothering me so bad? I'm in a band again, I get to play again, and I will get paid to do what I love to do and have done for years for free. What the hell is the problem? My stupid ego just wont let this go.

*sigh*

We're an american band??

Let me just start this one off with a big what the fuck?

I arrived at work today and went through my usual routine of checking my phone and such for messages and came across a text from a childhood friend. He has a band and his drummer was out of town weekend before last so he invited me up to practice to fill in for the guy, basically just to fool around and have some fun. We did just that, played until about 2 or 3 am and called it a night and I thought nothing more of it, (though he did mention the idea of me learning their stuff and kind of being a stand-by drummer if their regular guy wasn't able to make a show or something). Blah blah, short story long he messages me and goes on as to how he's kicking it at the beach and pondering who their drummer should be. I asked about their regular drummer, he says their having a "small" issue with him *shrugs*. He asks me what I think about maybe being their regular drummer, (apparently they liked how I played). I'm a tad hesitant, but I told him I'm willing to give it a go and he tells me to go ahead and learn all the songs; apparently I'm now in a band.
   To innocent onlookers this probably appears to be a good thing, but it's pretty bittersweet for me. I've tried off and on to put a band together since about 2002. Three [four?] bands have came and went since then with everything just falling apart each time. Some pretty decent material has came from those days, but it more or less has never left my living room (aka "the studio"). I love to and dearly miss playing, and at my age any opportunity to play should be considered a good one. The problem is, these guys are pretty much a cover band and they are still a tad green, so at the same time it's a bit of an ego blow, kinda like I'm "taking what I can get" at this point. Now this is nothing against the band at all, I really had a good time playing with them and I don't mind playing covers at all. It's just that I enjoy writing and creating original music as well, and though they want to do this in the future, it's going to be awhile before they are ready for that; and who's to say any of us will even be on the same page musically when that time comes?
   *sigh* I'm just going to roll with this and see where it goes. I'm always the pessimist, so I really need to try to give this a chance before I condemn it to fail. Non the less, I am still approaching this with trepidation.

Time will tell, perhaps you will hear about it here...

My first post...

I don't have a damned clue where this thing will take me for I created it on a whim. I imagine it will fall by the wayside just like all the other little projects I've taken up throughout the years *sigh*. I also imagine I will mostly be talking to myself, but this isn't anything new is it Mr. Conner?

That's it for post #1. Pretty thought provoking stuff eh?

I'm going home to play WOW.....